New Scientist

Shame on you.

Why vampires would have a population problem

Stephanie Meyer

I would LOVE a hit of that crack she's was smoking when she was writing that led her to come up with this.

"THIS IS THA SKIN OF A KILLAH BELLEND!!!111"

No wonder no-one takes him seriously.

If the sparklez turn you on, and you can't get over that your boyfriend doesn't glitter like a stripper's panties then click here to fix that.

Also I'm glad to see rPatz has been working out, if they had to draw his six-pack on again... very badly they did I must add.

Vampires, YAY!

Who could not be aware of the surfeit of literature and media on vampires, choking the riverbed of our minds with their fetid obsessive...

Sorry. Thought I was Anne Rice for a second.

I was going to write a short piece on this, with bullet points (I love them).
But I realised that one post would not do this topic JUSTICE. And vampires demand JUSTICE. And also the ability to read people's minds. Or vice versa. If they can't do it, then they tend to get a bit cranky and snort a lot in Biology class.

So welcome to my vampire novella.