Third Wheels

Sup.

I hate being a third wheel. Once I was made to be a third wheel on my own date.. no lie. That wasn't fun, in the slighest. My date legged it with his mate and avoided me, for the rest of the night (this was at my graduation ball), and then asked if I wanted to join him. I politely declined.

I always seem to be Mr Third Wheel (yes I know I'm a lady), a lot of my friends, quite a few of my CLOSE friends are attached. And in long-term, one hopes so stable (I'm not going to comment on the stability of their romantic liasons), and most seem to be long distance. Bitter, me, never.

ANYWAY.

So my friends, lovely and dandy, some are friends who have got boyfs/girlfs and their partner has befriended me, some are both friends of mine who got together via myself, or just both two people I know.

Perhaps I should be flattered that my friends enjoy my company so much that they invite me on their dates. But it's seems to be EVERYONE.

'But we want to spend time with you!' - you are a SEPERATE entity on your own you know. I do not wish to be:

a. Stuck in a club with a couple who haven't seen each other for a while and can't keep their paws off each other.
b. Dinner with a couple who are indulging in footsie (and unfortunately my limbs getting entangled, because I have ski-like feet)
c. A buffer, or chaperone (THE MOST COMMON)

Honestly, I feel like I'm a mother to all this horny goslings, they have all imprinted on me (Lorenz, not Stephanie Meyer's wank interpretation).

Listen. I am honestly, truly, flattered that you are both comfortable enough around me to tongue-wrestle and display your fillings to the world. I feel blessed that I am liked enough by both of you to want me there bathing in the light of your rose-tinted glow, or even one of you likes me enough that they want to kill two birds with one stone, meaning myself as a friend (the poor relation) and the luvvah.

But please do not invite me on dates with you and your missus/mister. If you want to hang out then that is FINE. But couples who are attached at the hip and invite me out is just odd.
Because I will decline, because frankly, there's only how long you can dance by yourself and avert your eyes. And I am not there to soothe fractious relations.

If you do, you should only invite someone along for me to talk to. It is only polite. But not because I seem to be your last single friend.

This was not intended at anyone in particular...except the people who it is obviously about.